Friday, August 26, 2011

How India will reach the No. 0 rankings in Test Cricket!!!

These pathetic lads have lost it 4-0 (looks like my proposal count, not even one turned right)..But how can you lose it so badly to people who make games for others to the hell man?how could you do this to me?I am sure that Fletcher would have spoilt your minds, goddamn englishman..It's like US waging a war against Afghanistan, with Osama as the US general..Why why why???if only you had listened to me..

Oki captain cool, now listen to this and we can still win the series 4-0 favoring's highly possible, in fact its the only result possible if you follow this 7-point algorithm..

1. Quickly release a press notice saying India is in favor of the DRS and wants the entire series reviewed..If we lose the toss, quickly call for a DRS..keep repeating step 1, till we win the toss

2. Wall should start also batting from the non-strikers' end so the ball never crosses it reaches Sehwag (making it impossible for him to get a king pair). Wall can be made of India cements to facilitate N Srinivasan's revenues.

3. Dravid should make sure he captivates the entire crowd with his 540 ball 12 runs at the end of the day. A hardcore enthusiast will have the over details as Ball #1 Well Left, Ball #2 Ugly left, Ball #3 Well right...Ball #6 Unintentional edge to a single.

4. After two days of such riveting cricket, we will declare with a huge first innings score of 23. After the english batsmen are ready to play, Dhoni should refuse to bowl unless england agree to declare their first innings at a score of -499.India will enforce the follow-on

5. India should start bowling with its pace spearheads of Harbhajan Singh and MS Dhoni. Spinners like Sreeshanth, RP Singh and Ishant Sharma will bowl one-change. At this moment, a press conference should be held by the ICC that if 8 runs are not scored of every ball, then its a wicket loss (This move is taken to make test cricket more interesting and in the best interest of the game)

6. After seeing the pathetic plight of the English team and their inability to compete with India, Dhoni should magnanimously grant England extra runs and fix the target as India needing to get 100 in the second innings with a caveat that whoever scores the runs/doesn't score the runs, it will be added to Sachin's score.

7. With one ball left to go, and Sachin requiring one run to get to his 100th 100, and with Amit Mishra on strike (runs will be added to Sachin though!!), with the crowd waiting to witness history, both the teams should agree for a draw on the condition that India wins the test match and Sachin gets his 100.

This is test cricket at its very best!!!Crowd goes berserk and unable to control his joy, seeing his teammate make history, Sourav will remove his shorts from the commentary box and wave it over his head..Smiles and congratulations all around for India, having won a hard-fought series 4-0..Anna Hazare should be invited to break his fast and give the presentation trophy (In the time, Dravid bats Anna Hazare can even hold his fast on the ground)..Indian team will be able to walk off with No. 0 rankings and undisputed kings of cricket (Day Zero is better than Day 1 na, Same logic)

Daii Dhoni daii, listen to me da..Call a press conference quickly!!!

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