Anushka Sharma vs. Puneeth Rajkumar

Ever since I wrote the last blog post my life has become a mess, a complete mess..Nowadays people don't need a reason to laugh at me, friends get high and put a conf call at 3 in the morning and ask me whether I am in Sales still and non-stop laugh for 2 hours..Bloody have I become such a big laughing stock like Sachin? Just because he has stopped entertaining them, it's me huh??Damn Chutiyas all of them..

If my next door kid doesn't eat, his mom threatens her saying "If you don't eat, you will become like that salesman uncle"..His 5 yr old sister runs away everytime on seeing me..How many times to tell her I am not from Delhi? Po dee Po you will only get only a HR job in future..

My mom who is probably my only source of strength in tough times, said she exactly understand what I was going through in my life and empathized with me..The next day she sends me 5 lungis as birthday gift, and that too those checked mallu type lungis..I mean Lungis just because I am a salesman? The only other place I  have seen those lungis was a stupid mallu college dance ..."Ohhh Sexyy Chechi.." Ente mone!!! Just because Shakila Chechi is from Kerala I din't personally go to kill each one of them..

Fed up of life..Totally..It doesn't happen with my friends in Consulting, IT, or HR (went to the loo puked twice) but only for me salesmen..Ajj if you all are doing proper MBA kinda jobs and I am doing a PUC job..If only I expose you all and what you people do, you'will realize how much deep shit you guys are all in..

In fact, let me do that only..Once for all, do a naked expose of you all..Weak-hearted people can close the page at this point or read ahead at you own risk..

Consulting:

The biggest Chutiyas of the lot, definitely without doubt..If only you ask them where they work, with a touch of arrogance and achievement you get the response "Consulting Firm"..Firm it seems, othaaa..Basically, my job requires an in-depth analysis of the procurement of high-class manure from domesticated animals and executing a cost-benefit analysis of in-house development vs outsourcing the needs from a strategic long term objective of meeting the target expectations of 20% ROI in 5 years for a foreign firm.."That word firm only pisses me off..

That project would be for some Kenyan company who requires some cheap ass cow dung from India..For this these buggers will prepare 150 slide presentation with the recommendation - 'Cow dung is green in colour, so its a natural product"..Do you people know that your client will never read that report or you make the report knowing that only?

Why do you need to wear suits for this you tell me? And inside that Red colour Rupa Frontline Banian..Aiyoo Aiyoo..Enda little bit class also you people don't know aah da?

There is a line where truth ends and your insulting begins..


IT:


Fellow brothers are the most humble of the entire lot..In fact, you don't even need to provoke them, just ask them about their jobs and you will be sponsored 7 RC large, 2 Antiquity Blue and 1 BP..If only you can listen to their stories about how they had a manage 5 emails at the same time, talk to an on-site client at 8 in the morning, and how he is one of the 1000 critical resources for the project..Young talented Rahane kind of people constantly waiting for some 35 yr old's to retire..And those people in their companies are not even like Sachin who retires when the time is right, plus or plus 5 years..

Although the general chutiya ratings of these people are lower than other jobs, there is a small clan of people in IT who calls themselves as IT consultants, thereby increasing their CC (Chutiya Count) to a higher side..The moment people tries to use consultancy to their roles, their CC automatically goes up and when they call themselves working in a firm it goes to a higher pitch than our Yo Yo Singhhu...

If not for a minority set of IT consultants, this clan has wonderfully grounded set of people, that they travel only Kingfisher..They also acknowledge the fact that SHIT happens..I'm Sorry..IT happens..

HR:

Contrary to what people might think, HR is one of the most important set of people..(Computer hangs up for 2 hours, infected with unobjectionable content which was entered) I mean the other day, when my fan wasn't working, they set it right, They announce all the festivals in different innovative colors, pass on lunch coupons to employees, arrange hotel/travel arrangements, organize new unheard of games like Dumb-C on Fun Fridays..Sometimes they also have blinking letters in mails, which I feel is a wonderful way to break out of the clutter of emails..

To think that a function has such cross-functional requirements and requires such diverse skill-sets, and to excel at it is beyond me..Respect Plain Respect..(Not for the bloody guys who spoil the sanctity of that skill sets that role demands..I can understand girls have that dumbness in them, but why you da??)


Now only happy..Sigh..Take it bloody all for all the laughing..Run and hide your face, but where will you guys go..If my sales brethern are given a massage by Anushka Sharma in a third rate village, you get served porridge spoon fed by Puneeth Rajkumar in a five star hotel..Haha take that on your face..

The Biggest Predicament of my Life

Oh Mom How I wish I could explain to you..But I am really not able to put in to words what I am going through, if only I could I would've given a brilliant oration like an Indian PM..Sorry Mom, I have tried just that I am not able to sometimes tell you..

What I am dealing with here on a daily basis is intense pressure and scrutiny from my Mom..After all, I am not even playing a team game not moving my NPA (Non-Performing Ass) and sending a mob to quell people who think that SRT actually stands for yeS ReTire, nor am I doing anything hideous and getting spoilt by watching Puneet Rajkumar's movies just beacuse I am in Karnataka (Actually mom, I think the only people who can watch his face or his nose are those poor people who use it as a placebo to develop a dislike for food)

My problem is very simple. Everytime my Mom asks me to explain what I do for work I am not able to offer her a satiable explanation. She is disappointed and I am heart-broken unable to do broker a peace deal between us.. I am really in a fix..I look back at my last month recounting my Sales life to see if I can figure out a way to solve this important life problem..

Day 1:

Got my targets for the month..Insane growth figures and Chutiya type expectations..My boss expects a 20% growth over last month..I tried explaining my boss about how it is not possible to do that this month..He says 'Can't' isn't a word in his dictionary..(Blatant Lie Mom I checked all the dictionariesavailable in the market)..

If I tell him anything more he will say "I have been in this industry from 1989 and I have been here for 23 years now.." Sigh..Bloody hate all these 39 year olds who refuse to listen to public opinion..Should immediately pass a bill to remove all 39 yr olds in any system..

Day 4:

How do I explain to you Mom that the bill didn't pass because of a single MP in Rajya Sabha? You'll just not understand..You will say pray to God, everything will be alright..How do I tell you that God only didn't let it happen..If I tell you this, you'll say "#SivaX2 AbacharamX2" and shouldn't talk like that about God..But how do I...? Leave it Mom

Day 9:

You're asking me about the important client I had to meet..I really wanted to tell you about this..He purchases half the month's sales and many say he decides the real post of a manager in this territory..A Sonia Gandhi-MMS relationship..Aiyoo Amma I am not watching any MMS and that too of Sonia Gandhi..By MMS I meant Manmohan Singh..This is why maa I don't tell you anything..

Anyways I went to meet him today in the new Van Huesen shirt you got me in a bus which had a few men, women and 100 chicks..Again Mom again, don't think like that these are the small yellow ones I am talking about..I was travelling like a SRK in Swades to meet this kingpin..

You won't believe it Mom, all the while I was talking to him he just sat there and kept digging his nose..However hard I tried to take non-cognizance of the fact, that bloody bugger thought as if he is digging a borewell for water. After a point he stopped it and he inserted his hand into his banian (Yes Mom, he was wearing a Banian for our business meet) and was scratching his armpits..After that he is offering Dhokla's to eat with that same hand..

His name btw was Chandi..people fondly call him Chandi da..A Marwari settled in Calcutta and before migrating here..One thing you tell me Mom, no Marwaris never stay in Rajasthan huh? And bloody how do they have so much money?

These Marwaris are definitely the Jews of India..Thank God Hitler wasn't an Indian..Imagine Mom what would have happened..Thank God..Lives of so many good looking girls saved..And Guys too, of course if not for those Marwari Uday Chopra look alikes how will we have Pani Puri in Chennai kinda places..

How do I explain to you when you ask How the business meet went? How Mom how?

Day 15:

Got a call from my manager who blasted me for my performance till now..When asked how does he expect me to do the targets he says " I have to push myself hard, push the team, push push is the only mantra.." and cut the call..Bloody as if he had given a Bhagavad Gita on the Kurukshetra battlefield..

Just because he has a twin within a year of marriage, bloody he is giving me lectures..

Mom how do I explain pushing to you? How do I do it?

Day 23:

Had to travel to a town called Ranikuthi today..Mom how do I even tell you the name? But that is the name of the place..I don't even know if any self-esteemed Tamilian will even spell the name of the place..You would disown me if you even hear this, that is why I told you I didn;t goto work today..Pls understand Mom

This place Ranikuthi doesn't have a single 5 star hotel..I mean not even a single 5-star hotel for a population of 1 lac people..Not that I am ever going to stay in one, but the other day I went to Gurgaon they have atleast 20 5-star hotels for a population of 1000 people and 1 lac pigs..Just fascinating Mom how diametric is India's growth..Again if I tell you this, you will ask me how can 1000 people live with 1 lac pigs..But when I don't have the answers why to tell the story in the first place..

So, I put myself in the costliest 200 Rs hotel in Ranikuthi..It seems that is the hotel most preferred by the salesmen in that town..My targets are going way off planning because of huge dumping of stocks in the last month by the previous guy..I am literally tired of this word "Dumping"..Everywhere Everyone says dump the goods..Bloody No hygiene at all in the system..I will set it right mom believe me I will..

Should have been careful when they said it was a hotel preferred by salesmen..Some serious dumping had happened in the loo..Ran out at full speed to a nearby hotel for some water and air..Board displays - Today's Special.."DUMPLINGS"..

Mom you will only scold me if I tell you that I didn't eat that day that is why Mom I din't tell you anything that day when you called..

Day 30:

The Allen Solly's are useless..I was asked to give two soaps today in the store..Burnt the shirt..How do I tell you that?

Day 31:

I want to tell you that I met my month's targets but if you ask me how How on earth do I tell you we pumped the goods into a shop..I am ethical Amma I don't Dump, I am your Son..

Please understand When I tell you "I'm doing well" and let things stay that way between us..

Love you Mom!!!

A lovely present to the romantic past?

Is looking back at your past a really fruitless exercise as we constantly keep hearing? Or Is it an hapless action reserved for the lazy old agers? How much I don't know the answer for those questions but I do know people who emphasize that they don't do the above are a bunch hypocrites travelling the first class. A person who doesn't keep memories of his past (physical and emotional)  are those ones who are just plain incapable of it. Living in the present is just a myth - a beautiful colored capsule taken by people to paint a mirage of a rainbow to say you lead a happy today. Or that's how it seems for me.

Invariably when I bide my time to clutter free of the present day clutter, I dig deep to my forgotten moments of nostalgia for that serene peace. And most of times, it's a rapid chemical reaction of hundreds of happy hormones across my body. Probably it's just the rejuvenation of an imaginary younger me, however much I try to avoid that thought to cram into me. As I escape the humdrums of the uncertain present and safely ensconce myself into a known script, it's just fabulously surprising to believe your mind actually craves for is Not a Sehwag but a solid Dravid. 

Shoulder length curled-up hair of the bard you played in school, with the innocence through the entire script worried about the journey and never about the applause at the end. Or when I suddenly get transported to smell the perfume of the silken hair of the girl as you bend your knees behind her in the attendance line, when you get pulled out for disobedience. The scent of Mangal Pandey bravado you put on for defying orders outweigh the unrealized humiliation. Sometimes I get drawn into the innocent splendor of moments which led up to a first kiss, and the knighthood obtained after it in narrating it to inquisitive friends.

The symphony and the orchestration you just picked up from the BSB's and how you hummed the loudly enough to make sure Karthik knew it was an English song. Sometimes, the little diary entries I used to maintain, before double checking on the latch of your parents room and write down "I Love You ...", quickly running across for water to the kitchen. Settling your goosebumps is the definite purpose, settling a sudden uprising and an altercation of nerves between your legs due to that bout of romance is an unintended consequence.

Or the journey you take to an uninhibited corner under a tree of eternal darkness to set fire to the little devil in your mouth for a minute, with clamouring friends jumping in line for their little moment of ecstasy. Not to forget the airs with which the monk who taught you is looked down up once you tame a black dog. And to go with the expert inferences on intoxication and the nonchalance in spelling out your favorite cuisine as "The liquids of Scotland".

Screeeeech...Rams my head into the front seat of a woman just missing her err..shoulders. That's how suddenly the present plays spoilsport into my adulterated trance I get living through a Bergkamp's goal and the classroom fights I would have had thence. The bloody driver slams the brake hard on my dreams. Kannagi constantly keeps casting a suspicious eye on me, on an another day, on an another day gone by, long gone by, I would have been sitting on her lap..Oh how do I stop thinking about the glorious gone-byes?

The Future is built, The past is pride..And ain't this wonderful present a lovely present to the romantic past?

Nostalgic Account of A Forgotten Love

Delhi is definitely a city which stirs the senses in you. Right from its charming and buzzing streets to the historical cities which actually make Delhi, there's enough for the romantics to soak in over here. I spent the last week rustling across the various monuments in the city, each one of them has a story to tell about the plundering inflicted on it right from the Lodhis to the Mughals to the British. However, you invariably get your blood seething only when you hear about the British. Inspite of the fact that the empire is a very distant memory, and the fact that an Indian team under Aamir has defeated the Poms, a tinge of revoked history spurred in a sense of nationalism and revenge in me. Promptly blocked the weekend for the India-England series, I was taken through a romantic ride through the past.

My first vivid memory of cricket would be around the time I was 6 and a man who you might have easily mistaken for being a college professor with his pristine dressing and aristocratic looks took 6-14 against the West Indies in Hero cup. Anil Kumble used to wear spectacles then, Kambli had nice french beard, Sachin had curly hair and had some secret energy and Prabhakar used to wear colorful wrist bands. From then on, cricket was not a sport I followed, it was a journey I lived. Roughly around the same time, there was a match (Don't remember the exact details) held in Bangalore when Srinath and Kumble had to score some 20 odd runs, when they showed Srinath's mom praying in the crowds. The tension was too much for this little kid in me, I ran to the prayer hall for the last over only to return after we won the match with a final ball 4. India won the match that day not because of Srinath, but for me it was my little prayer I did. I had never believed in God more. 

In those days, India used to lose more than they used to win, so more of times used to be in despair than in joy. So the early morning next day, used to open the papers from the last (The practice has stayed with me till date !!!) to see if the match I saw yesterday was just in my dreams, and used to total the scoreboards just in case to check if there was a mistake. Never could I write a letter to the Editor, but my smart dad made me total it twice everyday just in case I might find an error the second time. Then the came the 1996 WC held in India, my school never seemed longer in anticipation of the bolt-run back home. During the lunch, snacks, and in the 5 mins between periods invariably used to dash across to the friendly watchman who had a transistor with him. Remember when we used to take turns in asking permission for loo ("...Miss Miss I am getting ... (and the pinky goes up) make the quick dash to the guard, and circulate the scores in a chit of paper across the class. The 1996 WC was the first time I saw cricket at a global scale with hundreds of players, colored clothing, floodlights, and countless lunch-time games right from the correctly naming WPUCJ Vaas' name to the score Sachin made in the match against Australia in the Group Stages..(if I remember right he made 137 and was out caught and bowled)..That WC was joyish schoolboyish fun left me with wonderful moments Brian Lara's century against SA, Ajay Jadeja's knock against Pakistan WC, the Aus-WI semifinal innings of Bevan. In hindsight, I hold Calcutta culpable for the Semi's but I very well know had I been there what I would have done. Kambli wasn't the only one who cried that day..

I grew up with more cricket, and absolutely no cartoons, comics or movies (I still feel the pinch when I try to pick up a conversation with girls) but I had a CDMA TV set with only ESPN on it (which used to include matches, Harsha's pre and post match analysis and ESPN School Olympiad on non-match days). Hatred for Pakistan developed when I knew no history about our neighbours or the horrors of partition but when I knew villains No.1 Aaqib Javed, No.2 Razzaq and No.3 Saqlain were from there. The 5-16 by Saurav at Toronto cup was a match I missed due to sleep and haven't cursed myself more doing that. I should have probably missed the Asia Cup Shoaib's consecutive yorkers which I didn't, what will I give to trade those two..Lord's, Eden's, MCG I had seen cricket everywhere but my Mecca of cricket was always Sharjah and its 4 o clock starts (It always seemed matches used to start only after I come back home). The two Sachin classics to make India qualify and win the tourney, with the desert storm in between, the car ride after the presentation and Tony Greig's commentary (I still remember this "What a player...What a wonderful player after Sachin's straight six echo in my head) was the nearest I had come to experiencing magic in sports. It was as if the Mozart had been born again to perform two of his best symphonies live in Sharjah. No desert has ever tasted sweeter till now in my life, and I doubt any ever will.

He was no Mozart, but Warne was more than a wizard. Hardly a few instances in my life I can recount when the actual event has lived up to the expectations of the massive buildup to it, but this one series of Aus-Ind in 1997 exceeded every bit of it. Sachin's dismissal in first innings, then his 150 in the second, along with Sidhu and Mongia's class, this series was more about seeing Shane Warne and his antics of pulling up his shirt take a stick in his face rather than India winning for me. Chennai has always produced classics, and so it did when Pakistan came down to India and India lost the test match after brilliance by Sachin and Mongia. I think I was matured enough by then, and this time I would have given wonderful ovation that Chennai crowd gave after the test, had I been there at the stadium. And I still wonder whether Wasim Akram the last man to get out in Kumble's 10 for din't get out to Srinath fearing for his life. 

If you have to tell fables of cricket stories and did your very best at it, still the best wouldn't have been 10%  of what was witnessed in the 2001 India Oz Series. There was a revival around this time with India just out of the match fixing scandal, and this was the team which probably had lots of personalities and style associated to it. There was Charisma in Sourav, Grit in Dravid, Class in Sachin, Passion in Bhajji, Perseverance in Kumble. This wasn't a team of players, it was a team of living role models, for once India served a well-made Indian Thali to all the teams. India's ascent to its glory days started around then. Looking at the 2003 WC and reflecting on India's loss in the final would be gross injustice to one of the most admirable journeys of team spirit displayed by an Indian team. The culmination to that journey happened though not in Jo'burg but in Adelaide. I didn't need an alarm now to get up at 5.30 in the mornings then, for during that series I won my battle against Snooze. This to me was more special than the 2001 match just for the fact that we did it in conditions where we used to lose matches in mid-journey to Australia in the previous tours. Rahul Dravid added an another hue to his magnificent rainbow he was painting in Indian colors. He would add to it further in Rawalpindi and Leeds latter. Dravid and Kumble both of them gave grit a good name and perseverance an admirable trait to imbibe. 

It was roughly around this time in 2004 that I graduated from school and college and also from my boyish fanaticism of Indian cricket and underwent a metamorphism to a matured lover of the cricket sport. I also flirted with many other sports like F1, Tennis, Basketball, Football. Even though I follow a few of those sports keenly now, I can never say "Kimi should have taken a left turn in the second gear across the champions wall opening up his DRS" as I confidently say "That's sliding down leg-side on live TV when an appeal is made". Cricket is not for the time I see it on field, all the nostalgic memories I have had with it make it an unforgettable first love for me..

So what if the Britishers have taken the Kohinoor from us, they have left the Cricket diamond for us !!! 

5 year plan - Approved

It's been a long time since I went high..
A sober time served the crude reality that I am twenty-five..
Fulfillment of my dreams doesn't seem nigh..
Penning the bucket list to heave a sigh!!!
Here's what I would love in the next five..

Booze, babes certainly guarantees a ball..

Top on my calender in the 2014 fall
To be at land of Samba cheering for the Dutch..
What will I give to get a Brazilian hitch

Let the BMW's and the Harley's wait..
All I want to do is to take up the bait
In a marathon should I run..
Crossing the line would be serious fun

I will jog for a mile even in the morning fog..
Please you belly stay away even if I hog
Even let a Baba Ramdev MMS scandal befall
I don't have the heart to handle a hairfall

Thinking of it makes me get real fidgety..
Will get one up on you damn Bungee!!!
One journey to the Poker table in Vegas..
Accompanied by Rainman would be kick-ass!!!

Don't think I have made it large as yet..
Bike trip to Ladakh would be the best bet
As happy and content I am with these
The road ahead doesn't look to wind down with ease
Mom and Dad, please give me some time for these!!!


To cork a poor guy's future life of its little holes
Is there a better way to heaven for you holy souls?
As the coffers cry for the sound of a metal..
Mani's 5-yr corpus fund eagerly awaits your nickel..

The week that was...

The most beautiful thing about sport is the thrill and excitement it gives you sending your heartbeats to levels higher than Gayle's sixes. It has so captivated my time that I effortlessly switched between a 'I don't want the title tussle' till the last moment between Manchester teams, 'I'm at better at this merry-go-round' F1 race and watching the display of amazing consistency and professionalism in losing by Deccan in IPL, when disaster strcuk.

I had just read the other day that cricket commentary was born in 1961, I'm sure it went on its deathbed when Sidhu entered in 2001, now in 2011 when Danny Morrison entering the comm box it has completely been burnt down and cremated a Gayle's six length deep into the ground. I'm sure if India TV conduct's a sting operation they will find Danny watching porn instead of cricket, not sure if even actors in that would have so much feelings (Knowing that it is this easy, we might even find our BJP MPs entering comm box in the future). So, when Danny (Is he the brother or agent of Sunny ??) and said 'Sachin hit the sweet spot and banged the ball effortlessly in the gap", I couldn't take it anymore in front of parents..Switched the channels to follow what's on around in India..

National:

# A. Raja released on bail in the 2G case, on a surety of 20 lakhs.

Former telecom minister Raja has appealed to the supreme court to look into the surety amount of Rs. 20 lakhs. He feels it is highly unfair on him given the prevailing economic conditions. He reasons out the expenses of him having to book an Air India flight, and on its cancellation the booking of another last minute flight to Switzerland, completing his clearances to withdraw money from his swiss bank account where the minimum denomination is crores a paltry sum of lakhs and added to it the cost of foreign exchange, will surely work out more than the demanded surety sum of 20 lakhs. He has pleaded with the court citing his poor family income to reconsider the amount.

He also entered the parliament for the zeroth hour, and inquired well being of his friends and was unhappy that his fellow MPs did not plan a vacation to the family guest house in Tihar.

# Ambedkar's cartoon row send parliament into a frenzy, all cartoons removed from NCERT books

Following the row on the depiction of Ambedkar's cartoon implying the snail's pace in which the constitution was framed, Tortoise In Today's Society, fancily calling themselves TITS, has moved the court saying the depiction of the Tortoise as "slow" in childhood's story is highly demeaning to the animal. Speaking of which, TITS brand ambassador, Ms. Leone has promised that the organization will approach the PM as they find him a considerate man in understanding the Tortoise's plight.

Economy:

# Rupee declines to all-time low

The decline of the rupee has opened unlimited job opportunities in the country. Speaking to the owner of Manmohan waste paper mart, he has said that there has been a huge spurge in people across the country throwing away kilos and kilos of waste paper. He has requested the government to print the currency a little bigger and photos of other celebrities as there is a demand for color posters among the youth.

Sport:

# SRK enters into a fracas with security staff at the Wankhede

SRK is likely to be banned by the Mumbai cricket association, for his fist fight with the security staff. SRK insists that he just called out the guard's name Vikram and the guard got offended for it. Defending his actions, SRK has said, as a owner of KKR, it's only apt that I called him Bikram and his son as Birat. Arnab Goswami held a discussion on this issue of national importance the very same day.

Finally landed up with Set Max again, and goddamn Danny is still at it.."You betcha, another DLF Maximum  'FIX'.." For once Danny boy, you were right..

The week that was in India...

As I sat 'Fevikwick' glued to 'LG' television all day long 'Timex' watching live telecast of DLF IPL seeing 'Aircel' ABD, 'Vodafone' Virender, 'Karbonn Kamaal' KKR, little did I realize that I had been unaware of the happenings around me in 'Incredible' India. Talking to a few of my 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' friends and finding them to be of the same plight, I browsed through the happenings across the country over the past week for the benefit of many. Here's a dose of quicky bytes of the major talking points of the country over the past 'Dabur Chywanprash' week  in a non-partisan 'BJP' view reporting only the 'Bible' truth. 

National :

# More than 100 Air India pilots report sick, flights cancelled

Various vaasthu and numerology experts feel that changing the name of Air India to Ground India would help the Maharaja airlines. Also they have suggested a small bowl to be added along with the Maharaja in the logo, so he can directly beg from people. 

Prime Minister MMS has remained silent on this issue. 

# President Patil on a month long official trip along with grandchildren to Mauritius, Maldives and ....

Mauritius and Maldives government have expressed deep gratitude to the president for single handedly developing tourism and surging their GDPs to top of the world. Census data recorded during the last week has reported a dip of 2% in India's population. This has been the most successful president term ever served and the UPA is planning to nominate Patil for a second term if she plans to come back to India. 

Prime Minister MMS was unavailable to comment on this issue. 

International: 

# Hillary Clinton visits India

The government has conferred the highest possible award to a foreign woman national in an act which is sure to strengthen India-US ties. Having run out of titles with Behenji, Didi, Amma taken up already, government has conferred a prestigious title to Ms. Clinton. Speaking of which Ms. Clinton said she was very proud to be hence known as the "Biwi" of India. 

PM Mr. Singh just let his eyes speak on this extremely emotional ceremony. 

# Hollande elected France president

Opposition parties have criticized the government for letting Hollande to be the president of France. VHP, RSS and the BJP have accused that it is part of the master plan of the UPA government to nominate Pakistan as the president of India. When asked to comment on the above issue, Aamir Khan wiped off the tears from his eyes and said "Satyamev Jayate". 

Prime Minister Manmohan has declined to indulge in affairs of other countries and has remained quiet. 

Sport:

# Sachin nominated as Rajya Sabha MP

Asked on his immediate plans, he has hinted on the idea of passing a bill by which 50% of the runs made by all the batsmen in a match would be counted in Sachin's score under the Right to Score Act. On being asked whether this was a selfish motive, he said " We all are Mumbai Indians. No one has the right to ask me when I will retire."

Elsewhere, in the IPL, Andhra broke out in a frenzy and welcomed the Deccan team home to a red carpet appreciation after they won the last position in the IPL table by a comfortable margin. Asked to comment on it, captain Sanga has said " We are always fully charged to face difficulties and that has been the key this year."

On these issues, PM has not spoken a word as his favorite sport happens to be hockey. 

However, caught on a secret spy cam in PM's prayer room by the THE Arnab Goswami's Times Now, I can assure you all that our PM has not lost his silken voice and with utter devotion he carried on his prayers to Soniaji and Rahulji.  

That was the round-up of the past week 'Nokia-Connecting People' people.