The week that was in India...

As I sat 'Fevikwick' glued to 'LG' television all day long 'Timex' watching live telecast of DLF IPL seeing 'Aircel' ABD, 'Vodafone' Virender, 'Karbonn Kamaal' KKR, little did I realize that I had been unaware of the happenings around me in 'Incredible' India. Talking to a few of my 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' friends and finding them to be of the same plight, I browsed through the happenings across the country over the past week for the benefit of many. Here's a dose of quicky bytes of the major talking points of the country over the past 'Dabur Chywanprash' week  in a non-partisan 'BJP' view reporting only the 'Bible' truth. 

National :

# More than 100 Air India pilots report sick, flights cancelled

Various vaasthu and numerology experts feel that changing the name of Air India to Ground India would help the Maharaja airlines. Also they have suggested a small bowl to be added along with the Maharaja in the logo, so he can directly beg from people. 

Prime Minister MMS has remained silent on this issue. 

# President Patil on a month long official trip along with grandchildren to Mauritius, Maldives and ....

Mauritius and Maldives government have expressed deep gratitude to the president for single handedly developing tourism and surging their GDPs to top of the world. Census data recorded during the last week has reported a dip of 2% in India's population. This has been the most successful president term ever served and the UPA is planning to nominate Patil for a second term if she plans to come back to India. 

Prime Minister MMS was unavailable to comment on this issue. 

International: 

# Hillary Clinton visits India

The government has conferred the highest possible award to a foreign woman national in an act which is sure to strengthen India-US ties. Having run out of titles with Behenji, Didi, Amma taken up already, government has conferred a prestigious title to Ms. Clinton. Speaking of which Ms. Clinton said she was very proud to be hence known as the "Biwi" of India. 

PM Mr. Singh just let his eyes speak on this extremely emotional ceremony. 

# Hollande elected France president

Opposition parties have criticized the government for letting Hollande to be the president of France. VHP, RSS and the BJP have accused that it is part of the master plan of the UPA government to nominate Pakistan as the president of India. When asked to comment on the above issue, Aamir Khan wiped off the tears from his eyes and said "Satyamev Jayate". 

Prime Minister Manmohan has declined to indulge in affairs of other countries and has remained quiet. 

Sport:

# Sachin nominated as Rajya Sabha MP

Asked on his immediate plans, he has hinted on the idea of passing a bill by which 50% of the runs made by all the batsmen in a match would be counted in Sachin's score under the Right to Score Act. On being asked whether this was a selfish motive, he said " We all are Mumbai Indians. No one has the right to ask me when I will retire."

Elsewhere, in the IPL, Andhra broke out in a frenzy and welcomed the Deccan team home to a red carpet appreciation after they won the last position in the IPL table by a comfortable margin. Asked to comment on it, captain Sanga has said " We are always fully charged to face difficulties and that has been the key this year."

On these issues, PM has not spoken a word as his favorite sport happens to be hockey. 

However, caught on a secret spy cam in PM's prayer room by the THE Arnab Goswami's Times Now, I can assure you all that our PM has not lost his silken voice and with utter devotion he carried on his prayers to Soniaji and Rahulji.  

That was the round-up of the past week 'Nokia-Connecting People' people.