My Robotic Take on Enthiran

So I did the inevitable...After exactly a fortnight ( a wait considered a sin in my hometown), after all my members in my family had done it (including my little cousin three years old and my dad who watched a movie after 10 odd years), after quite a few of friends had finished memorizing the reverse chronological order of scenes, I watched "Enthiran". I carefully skimmed myself away from all reviews, din't listen to any of the songs nor did I see the trailer before walking into the theatre to be unbiased during the course of the movie. Such abstinence was to experience the real joy of a Shankar-Rajni combination, they have the magic, the aura, the charisma to beat all my expectations - However low I place them, they exceed them and my gawd by a daylight this time.

Enthiran - A rotten piece of boulder dash. Here's to how I felt bad for all the people involved..

To begin with the Super Star - I pity him like no one else in this world more so after he gave more than two years for this shit. He signifies everything a celebrity is and the fake lifestyle they live day in and day out, and also admonishes what he has to do in each one of his movies. People say he has stereotyped and does only kind of stuff, the truth being none has the courage to carry forward any theme trusting his capabilities. He knows his worth, a "Thalabathi" will speak for ages. Intelligent as he is, he also understands why unnecessarily push himself at this age when he is getting paid like crazy for some crazy? He also perfectly understands the sins he is committing through his movies, sending an entire clan of dumbheads into pre-paleonthlic age. No wonder he runs into Himalayas to find his inner self, only this time the stay is going to be a little longer than Shivaji. Also, Rajni please find out how can you play the guitar covering all the strings??

Aishwarya Rai, the smartest and the one who has little to feel bad about the entire process. She had lots to takeaway from this, hardly would she nor Abhishek would have known that she is so beautiful. All she had to do was walk in a prettily dressed, keep smiling, visit all unknown places of the world, kiss a piece of charcoal-like nickel metal and walk away with all the cash she has ever made in her career. Amitabh can go ahead and start ten ABCLs, you don't need a Amar Singh to bail you out now. And L'oreal can rejoice too, no need for any photoshoots of Ash-She can't be better than this!!!

ARR - Bloody you are an Oscar winner, Bloody you are a Grammy winner, Bloody you are a BAFTA winner, Bloody you are a Golden Globe winner but still you don't know how to assert yourself. You have made this mistake too many times in your life and the Allah you trust has been kind to you. Not at all times can your music bail you out and the success/demise of an artist is not solely based on his own skills you are in a team game my dear. You know you give your best when people demand it from you, then why the hell do you stoop to accept projects like this? I am just imagining how the scenario for the songs would have been narrated to you - a song after a kiss, a song after the second kiss ( This time on the robot - Innovation #1), No Intro Song and Item Song(Innovation #2 and #3), and final song because we need 5 songs. Rahman, the point that these songs were no where near your best says it all, you should'n even let Rihanna think of composing songs for this. Remember Rahman, you are a bigger brand than any bloody goddamn figure in Indian Cinema and it's time you stop being naive and develop the courage to say NO. I am sure money is not an issue for you, if it is then start counting your days at the helm.

LAST AND THE LEAST important of all - My dear Shankar. How ironical is it that they are showing Muthalvan (Nayak in Hindi) today on televsion? If you call that a movie, then what should I call this stale rotten fucking shit called Enthiran? Honestly my respect for you started dipping slightly from Boys, a little more in Anniyan, went up a little in Shivaji, mission complete in Enthiran. My anger arises from the fact that i distinguish yourself from a Dharani or a Perarasu. You are talented and my god you got hell loads of it, or should I say You were talented? Anniyan & Enthiran - What big difference? One used the concept of a split personality and here a robot - all fancy names to justify some crazy graphics you want to show and something to fool the producer to wring out his money and some shit to captivate the audience for a while (mind you, people are not fools, we can see better stuff in tamil dubbed english movies). I learnt more about geometrical shapes than anything in my childhood in the last half hour. Where is all the creativity in coming up with a story gone? I would have probably spent more time writing this blog than you having spent on the story line. This is taking you nowhere, wake up before its too late - Cinema is creative man's paradise, if your skills lie in only man management and effective utilization of human resources you can become a bandmaster. The people around you won't tell you this - remember they all want this and exactly this from you. Kalanithi Maran wouldn have got a better platform than this to launch his first production venture, he can probably even rake up his stake in Spicejet through this - Yes, that's all he wants and he is a businessman and what care should he have about the aesthetic sense of the movie. But you should arrest this fall before you sink into oblivion, Complacency is the biggest symptom of failure and in such a competitive field you can't afford to do this for long. Yes people will praise you, people will claim you are an angel, but haven't you got the brains to rise above this flattery? It's so damn clear that you are not happy this way - S pictures rose more of your want to produce good cinema rather than you giving a wanting to give a chance to youngsters. Enthiran - Made by Shankar, the costliest movie ever made in Indian Cinema and probably the highest grosser ever - Fine all done, Shankar touch your heart now and say did you get half the level of staisfaction from this compared to the success of Gentleman?

It's not a review, it's an angry cry of a passionated young Tamil Cinema follower and the path it's taking.

Enthiran, for me, was a cheap parody of a wannabe Hollywood movie (DOT)